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Stupidae

I have in point of fact tried weed. That did nothing for the headache, except to fuck up my perception of time, making a headache lasting in realtime for three days seem to last for three years. Also, I tried heroin; that worked better, but not better enough; incidentally, guess whether trying to stop trying heroin is easier or harder than quitting smoking, Surgeon Quack.

As to pencileating: I kinda bummed that one off Hugh Laurie; he once said that he’d ‘no sooner take [echinacea] than eat a pencil’; no argument here.

So, yeah: if it fits in your tiny little brain, odds are decent that I’ve tried it, or at least thought of it and discarded it out of hand.

Which in fact isn’t my larger problem. My larger problem is dickweeds impersonating doctors on the internet. Who decided this was remotely legal? Last I looked into it, it was actually something of a crime.

Now, really, for my part, being not a fucking idiot, this unsolicited medical advice from drooling morons is relatively meaningless—it’s at worst something I have to read several words into before noticing what I’m dealing with. I could then pretend to care deeply that these dumb fucking LARPers are convincing less intelligent people to fall for their stupid little ideas; but, by now, you likely know me better than that. Unless of course you’re an idiot impersonating a doctor on the intarwebs. In which case you might at best bounce close to the reality, but not close enough.

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