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Stupidae

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve got no particular problem with people helping each other, either literally or by handing out cash; I’ve done it, in various ways—usually having enough liquid funding that it seems to serve no real purpose, grabbing people and taking them all to lunch. I’ve let people live with me for weeks or months, simply because the alternative was letting them live in my car or out front under a tree. It’s not that I’m especially selfish or moneygrubbing or whatever the reasons are for other people to be against charitards. My reasons are pretty much just that the closest I get to bragging that I do my part to help is mentioning it in a book I’m letting people read for free online years after the fact, and without naming names.

That’s the difference. If I help someone, I don’t care if anyone ever knows about it. If charitards help someone—even if it’s someone benign, who doesn’t own slaves—the altruism is shaded darkly by the charitards’ expectations of recognition. Ultimately, it’s an advertising expense: they’re factoring the Return on Investment even before they invest.

Which itself is a bit deplorably ironic. To the extent that the charitards are politarded, they’re usually the ones whimpering that anything a corporation does is totally for evil profit. Nevermind that McDonald’s have that Ronald McDonald House thing; Ronald personally is evil and out to make children obese; their charity shit is just more advertising. Also, they’re stealing our thunder.

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